Chapter 13 - MARGARET’S APOLOGY
Margaret wrote to Rose through the family therapist.
The first letter was rejected.
Too much explanation.
She described stress.
William’s death.
Fear.
Family loyalty.
The therapist returned it.
Try again.
The second was shorter.
Rose,
I hit you because I was angry about adult problems that had nothing to do with you.
I told myself I was teaching you respect.
I was wrong.
I humiliated you.
I also treated money Grandpa left for you as if adults had more right to it than you did.
That was wrong too.
Nothing you said, wore, or did caused my behavior.
You do not owe me forgiveness.
If I ever see you again, it should be because you feel safe, not because I am your grandmother.
Rose was eight.
We did not hand her the full letter immediately.
Her therapist read an age-appropriate version.
Rose asked:
“Is she still mean?”
I said:
“I don’t know.”
David said:
“She’s trying to change.”
Rose asked:
“Is trying the same as changed?”
Neither of us answered immediately.
Then I smiled.
“No.”
That became another family rule.
May you like
Intentions matter.
Patterns matter more.
