Chapter 9 - MY MARRIAGE DIDN’T END WHEN I EXPECTED
I assumed the divorce would be final within a year.
It wasn’t.
Property division became complicated because David’s personal liability to Rose’s trust intersected with marital assets.
My attorney fought to protect my share from obligations created without my knowledge.
David’s attorney argued some funds had indirectly supported family lifestyle through Beth’s company services.
The judge required tracing.
Boring.
Slow.
Necessary.
Eventually the settlement distinguished marital assets from David’s fiduciary obligation.
My share of ordinary marital property was not simply consumed to repair his breach.
David surrendered a larger portion of certain liquid assets and retirement interests to satisfy parts of the judgment.
He also entered a repayment schedule.
Our house was sold.
I expected that to devastate me.
It didn’t.
The house had become a museum of arguments.
Rose and I moved into a smaller three-bedroom townhouse near her school.
She loved the window seat.
David rented an apartment.
His parenting time increased gradually because he complied with therapy, respected restrictions, and demonstrated appropriate behavior with Rose.
The custody evaluator recommended shared legal custody with Rose’s primary residence remaining with me during the school week and substantial structured time with David.
I hated the idea at first.
Then I asked myself the question Rachel had forced me to learn.
Is my discomfort evidence of danger?
Not always.
David had failed Rose terribly.
He was also doing the work.
Family court was not designed to freeze one terrible day forever if a parent demonstrated genuine change.
We agreed to the recommendation with review provisions.
The divorce paperwork sat unsigned on my kitchen counter for three weeks.
Not because I wanted David back.
Because signing represented certainty.
I was no longer sure certainty was what I wanted.
I asked Rachel:
“Can I pause?”
“Yes.”
“Is that stupid?”
“That’s not a legal question.”
I laughed.
Then cried.
I postponed finalization for ninety days.
May you like
Not to reconcile automatically.
To think.
