Chapter 14 - VALERIE ASKED TO SEE THE VIDEO
Valerie was ten when she asked.
“Do you still have the kitchen video?”
“Yes.”
“Can I see it?”
My immediate answer was no.
Her therapist suggested we explore why.
Valerie said:
“I don’t remember everything.”
“That’s okay.”
“I want to know if I was really that scared.”
My heart broke.
She had begun doubting her own memory.
We did not simply open the laptop.
Her therapist reviewed the footage first.
Then selected a limited portion appropriate for Valerie to see.
No repeated exposure.
No treating trauma like evidence entertainment.
I sat beside her.
She watched Claire grab her shoulder.
She watched herself drop the milk.
She watched herself clean.
Then the therapist stopped it.
Valerie was silent.
Finally:
“I was little.”
“Yes.”
“I thought I was big.”
“You were seven.”
She looked at me.
“I held Mateo a lot.”
“Yes.”
“Was I good at it?”
Dangerous question.
If I said yes, I risked validating the role forced onto her.
If I said no, I could turn survival into failure.
“You did more than any seven-year-old should have had to do.”
She thought.
“Did I keep him safe?”
“As best you could.”
She nodded.
Then:
“Okay.”
She did not ask to watch more.
That evening she played soccer.
Scored once.
Argued with the referee.
Ate two slices of pizza.
May you like
Trauma had become part of her history.
Not her entire identity.
